Oh, forget it

You took all of my words in your giant, warm palms and coveted them like the best kept secret. You cradled them against yourself, holding them tightly as if they were your own; they could not escape and you did not want to set them free. I happily imagined them there, growing and taking root, your breath their fresh air and your power their strength; if words could fly these would have left the nest for you cherished them more than I ever had. I thought you had no intention of letting them loose, to cut their life source and spread your fingers wide; to watch them easily through the cracks and hit hard on the pavement below where they would be smattered and stepped on. I thought you had and enjoyed a firm grasp, a steady hold, consistent, pure and true; unwavering; unrelenting, genuine and devoted. Suddenly and with a smile you let them fall.

I hate making decisions

“Hmm” I would thoughtfully say, and with the smug upturning of my mouth a slow chuckle would form. Wisely I would rub the tips of my fingers together, making the tiny bee noise and looking as if I had the cruelest of thoughts behind warm amber eyes; in my mind would wrap around meaningless activities and routines of the day: what had I eaten for breakfast and what will I be doing an hour from now… “Have you made your decision?” You would be trembling then, my aura beating you over the head with a split ended stick and I would imagine the droplets of blood shivering down your temple. All this, I am certain, would accomplish much and you would then fear me, behaving as I imagined you had behaved since the beginning, admiring and adoring me as I always wished you would, placing me above all others as you realized I meant the world to you. This was the way we were when ordering take-out—neither would dare choose, but both would masterfully declare victory in their respective minds.