Are we unworthy? It's a contradiction I feel pretty strongly about. In all honesty, I already have low enough self-esteem as it is. Most of the time I feel pretty invisible. On the other side of things, I'm better with that than being the center of attention, and if the attention is diverted to me I try and avoid it as much as possible. I think its safe to say as humans we have enough complex emotions to go around.
But being consistently told I'm unworthy, over and over, it wears me out. In worship songs a common theme is being unworthy of God. We are not worth what Jesus did for us, yet we're supposed to accept it humbly. Then on the flip side we were created, handmade in the womb, God knows all about us and loves us each individually. We were created in God's image; he put us in a different light than the rest of his creatures. …. But we're unworthy? Worthless, rotten, sinful and evil natured things.
Oh, this doesn't mesh with me at all. I'm saddened when I sit and think of this because I feel worthless enough as it is. I don't want to be constantly reminded. I feel sorry for kids in youth groups and Sunday schools learning they're not worth the love that's been poured out on them. I'm sure there's a balance, I'm sure there are plenty of controversies or whatever over this. I know there's always an argument that can be made. I guess these are just my initial thoughts when it comes down to it. I guess that would be our own faults, too.
Everything has to be hard. It doesn't make me feel any better that my friends and family have a worse time than I do, and I can barely hold myself together. I don't wake up feeling alright when I remember falling asleep praying something like "I know I'm not worth this love at all, but thanks anyway." Reading things like Job's story, everything he was put through, this doesn't thwart my fears any either. It just makes me feel sorry for him, he was one more poor sap that had to be put through hell and show himself worthy.
But its not acts or good deeds, right? So what was the point? If it wasn't some sort of proof, what was it?
People make us feel worthless enough. No one can love and respect every person they come into contact with. This is understandable, but when you're in a world where you're bombarded by advertisements and pictures of the perfect body, hair, style, even the perfect family, what else can you turn to? There has to be something out there that says "I LOVE YOU" and there are no contradictions anywhere. At all. Not, "I love you, but you're unworthy of what I've done for you", not "I love you, even though you're flawed and sinful", not "I love you…. At the moment", or "I love you, IF you…"
Sure, its our sinful nature and unhealthy desires. Its not that God DOESN'T love us, it's that he gave us a way out through faith in Jesus Christ and the ultimate sacrifice. This says to me that we were just unworthy from the very beginning. We were created undeserving of what would come to us, and no matter what we're not good enough for the ultimate love.
There will always be a "but" at the end of the sentence.
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