Words.

"Our mouths control the rest of our bodies and our imaginations, and so we must watch our language." -- From Jesus for President

I've thought a lot about saying things. Or rather, I think about NOT saying things. About how often I sit in a room full of people and don't say a word. Not that I don't necessarily like to engage... as long as I'm comfortable... but I'd really rather say nothing. For multiple reasons.

A. There are already enough opinions flying around (usually mine is similar to someone else's therefore I don't need to reiterate).
B. There is already enough criticism, sarcasm, or negative energy being brought to the conversation. I'd rather not add to that.
C. I honestly have nothing to say. And my small, vague comments wouldn't be needed or helpful.

Sometimes, around people I'm comfortable with, I find myself saying entirely too much. I'll divulge my entire day's worth of activities to them, however trivial and unimportant, to recieve a smile and a nod in return. And I'll think "Self... that was completely unncessary." I'm not sure why we tend to find that we have so much to say about so little.

I've been working to discipline myself into speaking when needed, or when prompted, but never anymore than necessary. I want my words to count. Personally, when I ramble I tend to say a lot of negative things; whatever comes to mind rolls easily off my tongue. And the longer I speak the less anything of importance or helpfulness comes out of my mouth.

Also, you tend to observe a lot more when you're prone to listening. I don't know how I got into the habit of speaking so much, but I seemed to be a much happier person when I spoke less, relied on my tongue less to get me the places I wanted to go, and really made every word count. Words matter. They can harm or uplift a person, they can do real damage or change someone's day entirely. They can influence thousands of people if spoken at the right time or published as a book. Words are important. They shape our daily lives. We have to be careful with them.

And words reveal a lot about a person. Its harder to be guarded when words are let loose. People see right into the heart and mind when so readily words fly--like in anger or desperation the true meaning behind the act tends to come out. Its not always necessarily what you'd like others to hear, and if you'd spend one more moment's pause, contemplating your next sentence, it would be easier to stay guarded, to not embarrass yourself or feel guilty later.

I honestly feel, at least at this point in my life, I'd be much better off if I didn't speak at all. I find myself regretting a lot of what I say, or wishing I hadn't shown my vulnerability, or my true, desperate nature. I want words to count for me, and those listening to really hear what I have to say.